Sometimes life leaves us feeling off. Live we’ve lost touch with who we are. The routines pile up, the spark dims, and it feels like we’re wearing some one else’s shoes. Or we just can’t find ours.

If you have ever felt that way – here’s a gentle reminder: You don’t have to rebuild yourself all at once. You can start by remembering your design.

That’s where personality typing comes in. MBTI, Socionics, Enneagram – they are not boxes to keep you stuck. They are maps. And when you are lost, they can help point you back to your own true path.

My Struggles

I can’t quite place when I started feeling so lost. Possibly a couple bad relationship choices, COVID, being a single mom – honestly the list could go on! But I knew I didn’t want to feel the way I was feeling anymore. The anxiety (once I realized what it was) was crippling! I didn’t want that for me, or the people around me. I wanted to go back to my “roots” so I did!

My Love of Personality Typing

I had the great honor of being “typed” with a hotel company I worked for. Myers-Briggs to be specific. At first I hated the idea I could be chunked in with 16 types only – there is no way! With over 6 billion people in the world, we can be put into 16 blocks? Must be joking!

Until I got into it. I became a full believer. And still am to this day! With a new profound love of it.

I was typed ENFP. And it couldn’t have been more true! Then I paid attention to my managers I lead and learned about their types. It helped me motivate them, communicate with them and helped me understand why we operate the way we do.

Personality Typing Systems

I know that there are a great many available around the world. I will comment on the ones I am most familiar with. Now I am not an expert – nor will I be typing anyone in this post. However, I hope it will provide a good starting point so if you decide to make the dive or take the leap – you have at least a few pools to land in.

MBTI – 4 simple letters, with deep wonderful meaning. These help explain our functions and how we process information. And help establish why we can come to certain outcomes or have certain goals.

Socionics – While seemingly similar to MBTI, it is Russian based (this is worth noting because of translations and interpretations). I find the studies on interpersonal relationships, fascinating. So how we interact with people and why you may get along with some individuals better than others. And how to navigate those relationships.

Enneagram – From 1 through 9. With/or with out wings. Shows what growth looks like and what stress looks like.

MBTI – Myers Briggs Type Indicator

The 4 Letters which are dichotomies:

• Extrovert or Introvert – Determines whether you are energized by the outer world of people and activity (Extraversion) or your inner world of thoughts and ideas (Introversion). 
• Sensing or iNtuitive – Describes how you take in information, with Sensing focusing on facts and details and Intuition focusing on patterns and future possibilities. 
• Thinking or Feeling – Refers to how you make decisions; Thinking uses logic and objectivity, while Feeling prioritizes values and the impact on people. 
• Perceiving or Judging – Indicates your preferred lifestyle, with Judging indicating a preference for order and structure, and Perceiving favoring flexibility and spontaneity. 

What it’s used for:

• Self-understanding: To explore personal strengths, likes, dislikes, and potential career paths. 
• Interpersonal awareness: To foster better understanding and relationships with others by recognizing different personality preferences. 
• Workplace applications: It is often used in business settings to enhance team dynamics and improve communication. 

Important Considerations:

• The MBTI indicates preferences, not absolute traits, and human traits exist on a spectrum. 
• It is based on Carl Jung’s theory of psychological type. 
• It assigns a four-letter code, such as INTJ or ESFP, representing one of the 16 possible personality types. 

There are quite a few type assessments you can do online. Be mindful of the state you are completing your assessment in. If you are in a bad mood, your results can differ. Try to complete the test as you would “Typically” be. Or do a couple different tests. (I had the privilege of having a professional assessment completed and in the 15 years since, my type has never changed!)

And then read up on you! Pinterest (people still use Pinterest right?) is a lot of fun for “Seeing what your type would do” Like handling conflict, under stress, in love (ooooooo), at your best!

Honestly, I find it soothing and fascinating!

Socionics

Google does a great summary that I have here!

*Socionics is a pseudoscientific theory describing personality types and interpersonal relationships through “information metabolism,” or how individuals process and exchange information. It expands on Carl Jung’s concept of psychological types by using an eight-function information model (Model A) and defines 16 “sociotypes” that explain how people interact in society.  

Key aspects of Socionics:

• Information Model (Model A): This model describes how eight distinct cognitive functions—thinking (logic), feeling (ethics), sensation, and intuition, both introverted and extraverted—are structured and interact within a person’s psyche. 
• 16 Sociotypes: Socionics categorizes people into 16 types based on their information processing preferences, similar to the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI). 
• Inter-type Relations: The theory details the dynamics and interactions between different sociotypes, explaining predictable patterns of attraction, conflict, and cooperation in relationships. 
• Information Exchange: Socionics emphasizes how each type exchanges information with others and how their fixed patterns of cognition and information processing influence their behavior and societal interactions. 
• Origin: The theory was developed in the 1970s and 1980s by Lithuanian researcher Aušra Augustinavičiūtė, who integrated Jung’s theories with Antoni Kępiński’s concept of information metabolism. 

In essence:

Socionics is a system for understanding personality and social dynamics by viewing people as complex “information processing systems”. It provides a framework for understanding individual differences in how people perceive and interact with the world and with each other. 

The letter system looks similar to MBTI and while I am an ENFP (MBTI) and ENFp (Socionics) not everyone seems to convert over. Especially if you are Introverted. The ISTJ (MBTI) in my life is ISTp (socionics). He happens to be my dual and he is amazing in every psychological way for me.

One of my favorite sites to use is the16types.com. It will bring you articles, forums, and links to tests. I don’t digest all the ego block, stacking functions – I find the articles break it all down nicely.

It was here that I actually discovered I married my “Conflictor” Which sounds super intimidating, we honestly didn’t even argue much – we just couldn’t be psychologically close. We divorced and are actually quite excellent at co-parenting.

Enneagram

The Enneagram is a personality model based on nine interconnected types, each defined by distinct core motivations, fears, and desires. It’s a tool for self-discovery and personal growth, helping people understand their behaviors, strengths, and weaknesses, as well as how they relate to others. The system uses a nine-pointed geometric symbol to illustrate how the types are connected and influenced by each other, particularly under stress or in growth. 

What is the Enneagram?

• A personality typology: It categorizes people into nine distinct personality types. 
• Focuses on inner motivations: The Enneagram goes beyond external behaviors to explore the core fears and desires that drive each type. 
• A tool for growth: It’s used for self-awareness, understanding personal patterns, and fostering better relationships and communication. 
• Origins: The word “Enneagram” is Greek, meaning “nine-pointed figure” (“ennea” for nine and “grammos” for something written). The system has ancient roots, though its exact origins are debated. 

How does it work?

• Nine types: Each of the nine types has its own unique perspective and way of responding to life. 
• Core desires and fears: Each type is motivated by a central desire and an underlying fear, which influences their actions and thought processes. 
• Connections between types: The nine-pointed diagram shows how the types are related, indicating how personalities can shift or access other types under different conditions. 
• Centers of intelligence: The types are also grouped into three Centers (Instinctive, Feeling, and Thinking), each sharing common strengths and liabilities related to that Center. 

What are the nine types?

Each type is characterized by a name and a core struggle, such as: 

1. The Perfectionist/Reformer: Driven by the need to be good and right, fearing imperfection. 
2. The Helper/Giver: Motivated by the desire to be loved and needed. 
3. The Achiever: Focused on success and being valuable. 
4. The Individualist/Romantic: Seeks to be unique and understood. 
5. The Investigator: Desires to be competent and knowledgeable. 
6. The Loyalist/Loyal Skeptic: Driven by a need for security and support. 
7. The Enthusiast: Seeks happiness and fulfillment. 
8. The Challenger/Protector: Seeks to protect themselves and others, avoiding being controlled. 
9. The Mediator: Desires peace and harmony in their relationships and surroundings. 

So this girl is 7w8. So I run from emotional pain, and I will protect myself and those I love. Tricky right. Can’t embrace the light with out knowing what the dark feels like. So it has definitely helped me grow.

Have Fun Finding You Again

This may seem like an overload of information and truthfully you don’t need to take it all in at once! Self discovery is a life long journey. And I am reminding myself to embrace the bumps and potholes along the way.

I journal daily and have incorporated ENFP style affirmations. I read on Reddit – finding more people who are like minded or super different. I recently wrote a post about ChatGPT and helping be my therapist – that touches on personality types as well – you can read it here.

I hope you find you are not alone, and that you are imperfectly perfect – wobbles and all. And the fact that you are reading this, specifically, reflecting on who you are and where you want to go – is the start of something wonderful!

xoxo

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